Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Encourage Children with POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

In an instant things can change drastically.  On Thursday, my teen son came home upset about what happened to him at school.  He has been struggling all week.  But, this last NEGATIVE comment and actions by a teacher at his junior high school was his breaking point.  My teenage son was in so much pain.  He called me from the school office extremely upset, begging me to let him go home because he didn't want to lose it at school and get into trouble. He said, "Mom, P-L-E-A-S-E let me go home. I can't take much more of this."

It broke my heart to hear my son's pain. It upset me more when he informed me that a teacher told another student, "Stay away from him because he is a bad kid." Another teacher, as he entered his class, she placed his papers on his desk without giving him any guidance or instruction as to what the discussion / class work problem was being worked on as a class.

All weekend, I sat with my teenage son talking and giving POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS and advice regarding his school, friends, building up his self-esteem and confidence.  He was looking forward to returning to school on Monday.  In an instant it all changed on Sunday evening within 3 minutes.

How you ask?  Another teenager, a girl his age & a relative, began chatting with him online. She called him an "ass, asshole, stupid" and that he "would get what's coming to him".  He told her to stop.  She continued with "I'm just trying to help you."

Really?!?!?  How does this help my son?  It doesn't.  He was so angry he wanted to go confront her.  That was not going to accomplish anything.  I'm just relieved that he took my advice.  Sat down with me and we had another heart-felt talk.  Decisions, Actions, and making the right choices in life.  To learn how to compose himself.  To think before acting.  To think before talking.

He asked, "Why am I alive? Why didn't God let me die when I was a baby? I feel as if I should have never been born."

Wow!!! When I heard him ask these questions, I was speechless.  My baby was truly lost in the world.  My heart aches for him.  I told him that God has a plan for him.  He was placed here to accomplish something in life that is great.  He has a mission to accomplish for himself....a gift to give to others.  He has to open his heart, mind, soul, and eyes to see and understand.  He has to open his ears to listen to God's message.  I truly believe that God puts challenges in our paths every day...to see how exactly are we going to handle things.  Are we going to choose the right path?  In times of difficulties, are we going to turn to our Lord for guidance?

NEGATIVE comments are made to our children every day, from all around....parents, siblings, adults, law enforcement, teachers, community.  I know that children are different in today's world than when I was growing up.  There is little respect and kindness.  Let's remember:  It all starts at home.

My child's heart is broken.  An absentee Father who has NEVER been there for him from day one until now.  His best friend moved away from him over a year ago...NEVER stayed in connect (no calls, no emails, no visits).  An adult relative lost his temper and physically pushed him out of his grandparents home and used derogatory words with my son.

When is enough.....enough.  How much can a teen take?  I don't want to lose my son to bullies or suicide.  I'm here fighting to keep my son alive in today's world.  I'm working hard to build up his self-esteem and confidence by using POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS on a daily basis.  Won't you help do the same?

Let's start with:  Love yourself.
Next:  I love you unconditionally.
And so on...and so forth.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Talk to Teens about Bullying, Cyberbullying, Harassment

Teenage years are the hardest years for our children to experience. They begin to experience a great deal of changes in their lives:  moving from elementary school to middle school, then to junior high, and finally into high school, their body images begin to change, their friends begin to change - so their environment takes on this whole new change. How does a teenager handle their teens years? How do you talk to your teens about sex, drugs, bullying, cyberbullying, harassment, boyfriends/girlfriends, friends, and education?

In today's world, with this economy, we (parents) are extremely busy working. But, we must make time for our children, spouse/partner...for our family. Pick one night, for my family it's Friday's....it's our FAMILY TIME. We have dinner together. We decide to watch a movie. We select a board game to play. And we make time to talk. I use this time to talk to my teens about sex, drugs, bullying, cyberbullying, harassment, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, and education. I make it point to know who my children's friends are, who do they live with, where do they live, provide a phone number for me to contact. If my child can not provide me with the information, well then my child is not going over. If I permit my child to go out to the movies or a friend's house, I set a time (curfew) to return home.

School class assignments need to be completed. If you are behind, guess what, you are not having friends over or going to see friends. I ask my children, "What are your goals in life? What do you want to have when you are an adult? How do you plan on accomplishing that?"

When the law changes, I inform my children how this law will affect them. For example (in Texas):  A student by the age of 10 (now I believe the law changed to 11 or 12)....can be given a citation (ticket) for assault - if he/she assaults another student or teacher. A student can be charged for using profanity at a teacher. If you child is being harassed or bullied at school, keep a log (dates, times, what transpired, if reported to school faculty - whom did you report the incident to)...per the Police Department after 10 or more incidents charges can be brought against the individual. Anyone (teen and/or adult) can be charge for cyberbullying.

Parents/Guardians....must make it a point to talk to their child/children every day. Ask:  How was your day? Listen (really listen). Respond back with positive affirmations. Our children hear enough negative things about them...they don't need to hear it at home.

Parents/Guardians....take a moment to write your child a letter entitles "You mean the World to Me" or "You are Special to Me" and in your letter tell your child why he/she means the world to you or special to you.

Do you have any other suggestions? If you do, please share them.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Moms: Exercising Relieves Stress

I will admit that I am enjoying my 3-4 days a week @ the gym. This is the new me...exercising and going to the gym. I made this decision to improve my health & tone my body image. I take my cell & ear plugs so that I may listen to the music on my cell or tune into the TV inside the gym. I will admit that I work out better listening to the radio.

Since I had surgery on my ankle four months ago, I still can not jump or run...so I'm limited to what I can do.  For the past two weeks, I work out 30 minutes on the treadmill and another 30 minutes on the elliptical. This week, I followed my nephew's suggestion and started working out on the Prector Adaptive Motion Trainer (AMT). Whew!!! Now that is a work out. Since it's new to me, I starting off on Level 1 (it goes up to Level 10). I'll be very honest with you, after 20 minutes, the sweat started at the base of neck/hairline and back. The AMT is very versatile as it works on different parts of the body. I start off with short strides then go into deep lunges.

After a stressful day, I look forward to going to the gym to get the frustration out of my system. It's like my own personal therapy session. Plus, it is my "alone time" to take care of me...a treat for myself.

If you have this available at your gym, I highly recommend it. The work out will be worth it.


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

100 Calorie Snack Right Bites - Fudge Shoppe Fudge Grahams by Keebler (Kellogg)

For my mid-afternoon snack today, I tried for my first time by Keebler - Fudge Shoppe, Fudge Grahams 100 Calorie Right Bites (see insert picture). There are 10 mini cookies with a layer of chocolate on one side.

Do not just bite & swallow...remember there are only 10 bites per bag.  In order to truly taste (i.e., savoy) the cookie and chocolate. I highly recommend to:  Allow the cookie & chocolate to melt in your mouth.

After you have tasted the last bite, you will realize that it was well worth your time to sit back and enjoy.  Don't take my word for it....try it.  You'll soon realize it for yourself.



When do parents begin "Time-Out" on Kids?

I can't seem to remember when I started this with my children...as it's been 15 years since I've had a toddler in my house. Now that I'm a grandparent, I find myself asking, "When do parents begin to instill "Time-Out" on children?"

Is a 16-month old too young? My reply, "No, I don't believe so." I believe that a parent has to begin to instill respect, manners, and values into their children at a young age. You are probably asking at this time, "Why?" My reason is because our children in today's world are learning at a much faster pace. If you pay attention, you will notice that our toddlers learn from the people who are in their lives. They look, listen, and begin to say or act out (mock) other people.

So, we have to be very mindful and careful with and what we say and do around our children. They learn by example.....from us, their parents / grandparents / family.

My granddaughter, Lil A is 16-months old. She is at the stage of touching, pinching, scratching, hitting, & screaming. Even though, as a grandmother, I want to give into her tantrum so that she'll stop crying. I have to stop myself. Just because Lil A is screaming doesn't mean to give into what she wants...this is teaching her "how to malnipulate" into getting what she wants. That's a no-no.

The other day, I went to the dentist and my mouth was numb. I couldn't talk for fear of biting myself. Lil A noticed that I couldn't move my lips. She started slapping my mouth. I said, "Ouch. No." So I thought of popping her little hand. I had to re-think. I decided to sternly tell Lil A, "No! No, hit grandma." I kept leveled-eye contact with her. When she repeated it, her mother said to put her in "time-out". So, I did as her mother instructed. Lil A cried for a bit. I went back after 2 minutes, I kept leveled-eye contact with her and asked her, "Will you stop hitting me?" Lil A replied yes with a nod. Say sorry and give a kiss. And she placed her head on my shoulder and gave me a kiss. She was fine aferwards and played with her toys.

Praise children when they do something positive and good. When they hear you praise them, clap, cheer for them...it builds up their self-esteem / confidence.

So, I do believe that if all parents / adults / baby sitters - take a moment to think before acting; instill positive manners, values, and respect in children at a young age....they will be well-behavioral children.

What do you think?

Who was more excited? Mom or Grandma?

I don't know who was more EXCITED when Lil A said, "Te amo!" - her mother or me. Which means "I love you!" I was literally jumping for joy when I heard her two new words. Lil A knew she said something amazing because she was smiling and laughing.

I think any parent / grandparent becomes extremely happy when their child / grandchild says a new word. I know for sure, I did. And even more so as I shared this bit of information with my family and friends. It's called "bragging". It's all good.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Kroger, Deals, Coupons, & Lean Cuisine

Grocery shopping earlier today @Kroger (http://www.kroger.com/). They had some great deals (even more so using my Kroger card). I received some coupons from Kroger's through the mail ($1.00 off on selected items). Also, Kroger has digital coupons available on their website...all you do is log into your account, look at the digital coupons, select and download them onto your Kroger card. Your digital coupons will be subtracted from your bill automatically. This is an AWESOME feature!!!

Lean Cuisine Entree (selected varieties) on sale 5 for $10 - This is great value, beats going out to lunch or dinner and spending over $5....instead look at it as an amazing meal for $2 (plus it's low in calories with a great taste).

The more you use your Kroger card, the more coupons you'll receive in your mail. Check your mail periodically. At times, it will be a book with recipes & coupons or an envelope with FREE item coupons.



Leap Frog Learn & Groove Musical Table

The Leap Frog Learn & Groove Musical Table which teaches both English & Spanish (numbers & alphabet) is by far the BEST thing that I could have bought for my 1-year old granddaughter to learn. Lil A is learning how to pronounce her letters. She loves the music and is so focused on learning everything about her musical table. She is a very independent little girl and this product is built for toddlers to be just that...."independent". She knows which button(s) to push for what she wants to learn and/or hear.




To Leap Frog:  Thank you for this OUTSTANDING product for toddlers!!!

Now, my daughter-in-law has gone to purchase one for my 10-month old granddaughter.
Just a reminder to your teens:  before they ask Mommy to take them to the store to return items that they've purchased...please have your teen check for the store receipt. If  you have the receipt, tags are still on items, you will get your cash back or credit back on your card. However, if you do not have the receipt, it will either be a store credit (onto a gift card) or you can't  return the merchandise. :(  Sadly, sometimes even grown ups forget. Lesson learned by my teen daughter today.
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Oh my how the weather here in Texas changes within just a few hours. This morning it was humid and clouded with a light drizzle. It's the kind of weather that makes you feel blah. So, I dressed in my work out clothes (shorts, t-shirt, & tennis shoes). I had a great work out @ the gym.  By the time, I arrived home, late morning / lunch time...the weather changed, temperature dropped from a humid 76 degrees to a cool 64 degrees. Now because of the drop in temperature, I had to change into jeans and a long-sleeve shirt before heading back out to the grocery store.